Just A Spirk Love Story
by AngelicKats
Summary: While on a mission, Kirk comes across a barely prospering planet that is being threatened by an alien disease and goes in alone. He returns, but not completely unscathed. Will he beat the odds once again? Or will Kirk's miracles end here?{Spock by Kat and Kirk by Angel}{Disclaimer: Do NOT own characters}{More chapters on their way!}- A & K
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Just a Scratch

Captain James Kirk of the Enterprise ran as fast as his legs could carry him. His side hurt immensely with every breath he took and every jolt that was sent through his body when one of his feet made contact with the hard ground. The ground continued to crumble and give way behind him. It had only been a small explosion… Okay, a big one, but he had to blow up the vessel so the contaminants inside it wouldn't effect the rest of the just starting off planet. He chanced a glance behind him to see only the crumbling earth was barely a foot behind him. Shit. His communicator had been lost in the blast, he just hoped the Enterprise could lock onto his position and beam him up. Soon.

Spock watched as Scotty worked, his face impassive. He had argued with the captain before the mission. It would have been safer if they had both gone down but Kirk was firm on the subject. Spock knew he had been correct now, as Kirk ran for his life. Of course he had been right, but it would be a very hallow victory if his friend died.

Jim's lungs started to burn and his legs ached as did his side. He leapt over a large rock, cursing as he kept running. Why was this world's foundation so weak? Kirk couldn't think of a single other planet who's ground would crumble so easily and so damn _much_. Just as that thought ran through his head, he skidded to a stop at the edge of a drop off. "Shit." He spun around and stumbled as the ground began to give way beneath his feet. "Okay… You can beam me up any second now…" Jim knew they couldn't hear him, but he really wished they could. Falling to his death wasn't exactly the way he wanted to go.

Spock landed in, pointing to the console. "Now, lock on and beam him up." Scotty nodded, his fingers flying. "Aye sir." There was a tense moment then Kirk was in the room, crashing to the ground as he fell. "Captain." Spock rushed over, knowing the man had to have painful injuries. "You require medical treatment. Can you walk to the medical ward or shall I call for a gurney?"

Kirk shifted, wincing slightly at the pain in his side and his shoulder before getting to his feet. He flashed his First Officer a crooked grin and chuckled breathlessly. "No, I'm fine. I can get there myself." Bones was going to have his head for this, he had just been in the medical bay less than two weeks ago from the last mission.

"Dr. McCoy will be displeased with you Captain. You've been putting yourself in more and more hazardous situations of late." The Vulcan slowly walked beside his friend, ready to catch him if he were to fall.

"I know, Spock. You don't need to remind me." The captain sighed as he turned down one of the many corridors of the Enterprise. "My ears are still ringing form the last time he patched me up." He swayed slightly, but kept his balance as he was determined to get to the medical bay on his own to feet.

"If I may sir, but I do need to remind you. You have always refused to listened before." Spock reached out and steadied the stubborn man. "Sir, it worries the entire crew."

Jim stopped walking to look at the other man as he raised a brow. "Even you?" He shook his head. "Never mind. I do what I do so that the rest of the crew isn't put in danger." Kirk gave Spock a half smile as he spoke his next words. "Besides, I always return in one piece."

Of course Spock too, he'd said entire crew, hadn't he? Spock dismissed it and lightly poked the captain in the ribs. "I believe you failed to do so this time sir." He saw the way Kirk had been walking, he had to have at least three broken ribs.

Kirk groaned, barely keeping quiet as he swatted Spock's hand away. "I'm fine. Okay?" He looked at his First Officer and forced a smile. "I'm alive and in one piece."

Spock knew when Kirk had heard enough, especially when he was insisting on being illogical. "Yes sir Captain." He walked silently, thinking over why the captain had to be so stubborn.

Kirk continued walking and hesitated slightly before entering the medical bay. He gave a slight grin to the doctor as he entered. "Uh… Hey, Bones. Seems I need a little patching up…" He rubbed the back of his head with his left hand since his right shoulder was most likely dislocated. "Again."

Spock resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "If I might Doctor, I think I'll sit in during this lecture, I think I'll find it most enjoyable."

Kirk shot the Vulcan a look. "You love watching me get scolded, don't you?" Before he could say anything else Bones had him sitting in a seat and was treating, and not all that gently, as he lectured the man. "Dammit, Jim. You were just in here, what? Not even two weeks ago? Do you not see how much you worry all of us when you do stupid stunts like that? Now you have three broken ribs, two bruised, a dislocated shoulder, and who knows how many cuts." A yelp left Jim when Bones popped his shoulder back into place after treating everything else and stepping back to look at him with his arms crossed. "No more missions for you." "But Bones, I—" "No." The doctor cut him off before he could finish. "You will go on no more missions until I say otherwise."

Spock did in fact enjoy watching Jim get scolded, and the way he seemed to actually possibly listen. He stood, a soft smile crossing his lips. "I'll be going now and make certain that everything went well. Captain, see you on the bridge."

Seeing a chance to escape his friend and scolding doctor, Kirk sat up quickly. "No, I'll come with you." He hurried out of the medical bay before Bones could scold him anymore, pulling Spock behind him. Once down the corridor, Jim heaved a relieved sigh, only wincing slightly.

Spock watched him closely and sighed softly at the wince. "Were you listening at all Jim? You're hurting yourself far to often."

Jim gave his First Officer a smile. "I'm fine, Spock. Don't worry about me." He gave the Vulcan a pat on the shoulder before walking off to the bridge. Kirk would never admit to really being hurt, especially to a certain Vulcan that he cared for.

Spock watched his captain walk away and sighed again. He disliked emotions, and the emotion he felt about Jim had been growing, making it difficult to see reason about anything lately. He followed the man onto the bridge and took his seat, ready for any commands his captain might have.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Just A Complication

The captain took his seat before asking for a status report. When he was told everything was in order, he instructed the crew to set a course for their next destination. He felt tired and sore, but tried not to let it show.

Spock had very little to do for once and sat mostly staring at his captain. Spock knew he was hurting and wished he could help.

Once they were set on the right course, Kirk stood. He was confident in his crew to get them where they needed to go. Since departing on this mission, which was suppose to take them three years, the crew had set up a shift schedule so  
everyone had time to rest while the ship was still being taken care of. Jim planned on heading to his own quarters to rest a bit.

Spock watched him leave, aware that he needed to be careful. Around Jim he had always had a harder time keeping his emotions in check. And lately, the mere thought of him made Spock uncomfortable and hot under his skin. He got up to follow his captain. He wasn't entirely sure why.

Jim rubbed his sore ribs tenderly as he headed to his quarters. "Next time… I really need to put a timer or something on the damn explosives…" He muttered to himself as he walked, unaware of the Vulcan following not far behind him.

The Vulcan quickly caught up with his captain, pushing back his anger. "You didn't put a timer on the explosives? If I may sir, that's more than illogical, it's bordering on stupidity." He stepped in front of the captain and caught his eyes. "It's against all odds that you survived. And while I have no doubt in my ability to captain this vessel admirably, I would not wish my promotion to be  
caused from your death." He studied the human before him, needing him to listen this time. "Do you understand me Jim?"

The captain stared at his First Officer as it registered that he had called him 'Jim'. "It wasn't stupidity when the timer wasn't functioning correctly so I had to set it off  
manually." He paused for a moment. "I believe that's the first time you've called me 'Jim' since the start of this mission."

"I found you listen more when your name is used. I believe you find yourself more interesting than anything I say so it's helpful." Spock allowed himself a small Vulcan smile. He enjoyed teasing the captain.

Kirk looked at the Vulcan and flashed him the crooked grin that he only really used when talking to Spock. "Well, hate burst your logical bubble, Spock, but it only works when you use my name." It was true, Bones used him name all the time and never really made a difference in how the captain listened.

"Ah, so you enjoy when I say your name. Then let me say this, I'll say your name more often if you discontinue your suicidal missions." He smirked softly. "Have a good rest Captain." He walked off towards his quarters, having to distance himself from the charming man. Spock shuddered to think what Jim would be able to do if he knew how much that grin affected him.

Watching the Vulcan go, Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He headed to his quarters and plopped down on his bed once inside. "I can't promise that even if I wanted to." Kirk wasn't sure how it always seemed to happen, but his 'suicidal missions' usually resulted in only him getting hurt. That was why he did them, to prevent harm befalling anyone other than him. Spock would never find logic in why he had gone on the mission alone and some part of Kirk was glad. He would already known what most likely would happen after the explosion and hadn't wanted the Vulcan to be harmed.

Spock went into his room and began meditating. He needed to be more level headed around that man. If he wasn't logical he would cease to be useful in his position on the ship. What feelings were brewing to the man needed to be cut down now.

Jim sat in his room for a moment longer before getting up to find Chevok. He had been the only other person who had known the most likely outcome of the explosion and Kirk needed to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone, especially Spock. The captain didn't need more people angry at him and he certainly didn't need Bones on his ass again.

Spock fell deeper and deeper into meditation, focusing on his confusing feelings for his captain. But for whatever reason burying them with logic didn't work the way it always had in the past. They throbbed like a disturbed sore, and Spock doubted covering them with a bandaid would not work much longer.

Kirk found the young man as he was heading to his quarters for some well deserved rest. Chevok's quarters were two down from Spock's so Jim tried to keep his voice down as he talked to him. He explained that he didn't want anyone to know about the knowledge he had of the outcome of the explosion and Chehvok didn't seem to like the idea, but agreed in the end.

Spock opened his eyes feeling less calm than when he had started. He still felt things for and about Jim and was now annoyed in top of it. He wished, not for the first time, that he didn't take after his dear mother so much. He sighed and stood, deciding a walk might clear his head. He walked out from his room, seeing his captain with young Mister Chevhok instantly.

Just as Spock walked out, Chevhok had agreed to not tell anyone. Jim turned to see the Vulcan and gave a somewhat sheepish grin. "Hey, Mr. Spock. What are you doing here?"

Spock raised a single eyebrow at this and waved a hand gracefully at the door he'd just walked out of. "I had been meditating in my quarters. But now I'm going on a walk. Might I ask you the same question Captain?" He knew of course. Mr. Chevok was an incredibly  
bright young man. Jim must've been trying to insure the mans silence about something to do with the last mission.

His grin morphed into that crooked grin as he draped an arm over the young man's shoulders. "Just talking to my friend, Chevok. Was just about to head back to my quarters. I was hoping to invite him back with me to keep talking." Jim knew how that sounded and didn't bother correcting it as he pulled the young man closer. "So, what'll  
it be, Chevok?" Kirk's smile morphed again to the one he always used when flirting, causing the young man to flush slightly.

Spock had to resort to counting to 5 backwards to keep himself calm. "I see. Well, I won't keep you. I'm sure you have many important things to /talk/ about." He turned on his heel and walked away, flushing a very faint shade of green. "Green with jealousy.." He muttered to himself as he walked down an empty hallway.

A sigh of relief left Kirk as he watch the Vulcan go. He smiled at the young man and patted his back. "Thanks for not shoving me away or anything, I know you like some else." He winked at the flushing young man before turning and heading back the way he came. Seemed that Spock had bought his act, though that didn't make him feel much better. Jim had always been a huge flirt, but he wasn't entirely proud of it.

Spock found himself staring out a tiny porthole into the darkness of space, breathing much harder than a simple walk would normally make him breath. He had always liked Chekov but for some reason he vaguely wished he had punched the young man in the face. It would've have given him completely illogical pleasure though, so he restrained himself.

Kirk walked straight to his room, the tiredness and soreness finally getting to him. He stepped into his quarters and plopped on his bed, not even bothering to strip before closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him.

Spock roamed the ship until his shift came. He slowly walked up to the bridge, grateful now for the meditation. It's wasn't the same as sleep but it was the next best thing for the Vulcan.

Jim had the same shift as Spock and his alarm had gone off, was still going off, but the captain was snoring softly in a deep sleep. If he was awake, he would blame Bones and his damn needles. That wasn't the case though, Kirk's body was just beaten up and tired. It was blocking out anything and everything that would get in the way of his rest.

Uhura came up to Spock and leaned down. "Do you know where the captain is? He supposed to be here and he isn't answering the com." Spocks eyes didn't leave the screen in front him. "I suggest checking in Mr. Chekov's room, they seemed quite intent on performing a disgusting human sexual act when I last saw them and Mr. Chekov doesn't need to be on the bridge  
until next shift change." Uhura blinked surprised by the answer but could not fault the logic there. "Right. Alright, I'll go check."

Chekhov was alone and informed Uhura that the captain hadn't been serious. The young man thought the man had returned to his quarters. That was exactly where Jim was, sleeping away in his locked quarters with his alarm still blaring.

Spock typed away, delegating the work load to the other scientists on the ship.

When Uhura got to his quarters, he didn't answer and the door wouldn't open so, with more than a little frustration, she went to inform Spock. "Chekhov said that the captain was faking and went to his quarters looking a bit tired. When I got there, I could hear his alarm, but the door is locked." As far as she knew, Kirk and Spock were the only ones with the code to the captain's quarters.

"Faking?" Spock turned to study Uhura. "Mm. I shall go check on him." He stood quickly and walked to the captain's quarters. "Captain?" Ke knocked on the door before punching in the code. "I'm coming in."

Kirk didn't move from his sprawled out position on his bed, his face was flushed and beads of sweat covered his forehead. The alarm was still going off at full volume. Right next to Jim's head. The damn thing always woke him up the second it went off, but now he slept through it like it was nothing.

Spock looked at him for half a second before picking him up, carrying him out and running towards the infirmary. "Everybody move!"

The noise hadn't awoken him, but the jostling movement had. "Mmm…" Kirk's eyes opened blearily and looked up at the Vulcan. "Spock? What the heck?" As his eyes adjusted, his head began pounding and he groaned. "My head hurts…"

"The term, I believe, is, shut up." Spock had reached the infirmary and laid Kirk on one of the tables, yelling for bones. Dr. McCoy came around the corner frowning. "Dammit ya green blooded robot, what's gotten you-" he froze at the sight of the captain on the table. "What happened?" "He's showing all the early symptoms of the disease frequently found on the aliens species Kirk just fought. Fix him."

Did Spock tell him to shut up? Wait. Why was his vision blurring again? Shit. Through the pounding in his head, Kirk realized what was wrong just as his vision went completely black. His hand shot out to grab the Vulcan blindly just to know he wasn't alone. He wasn't looking forward to what was to come. "Bones… Can't see…" Jim tried to sound calm and not scared like he felt, thankful he pulled it off. If Bones didn't do something soon, he'd lose more than just his sight. The captain knew that his hearing was suppose to go next and it all terrified him. He didn't want to be in a dark silent void. "Spock, how long did it take for the symptoms to become permanent?" They wouldn't just become permanent. If they couldn't fix him, he'd die in a black, silent nothing.

Spock shook his head as he thought. "I don't know. I..." He sighed, his hand closing over Jim's, letting him know he was here. "I would estimate a time frame around 252 hours but its impossible to tell because a human has never been infected with this disease." He found comfort in the logic and mathematics, knowing he was rambling

Shit. He heard rummaging around and then a needle was in his arm. "Ow. Bones. A little warning?" He figured his friend was giving him a look by now and he gave a bit of a smile. "I figured you'd like to get your sight back as soon as possible and not loose your sight, you dumb ass. Why did you go down there by yourself, anyway?" As if on cue, Jim heard Chekhov enter, saying he knew why. Kirk flopped back on the bed, knowing he'd get yelled at for this as the young man told Bones and Spock that the captain had known the planet would crumble so much and that the particles in the air could interfere with any electrical equipment.

Spocks hand became tighter against the sick mans, angry at him for taking an even greater risk than he'd known. He said nothing as bones yelled at Jim for about ten minutes. "That's enough Doctor. He's going to go deaf without you helping him along."

Jim sat there and waited for the yelling to stop. "I did it because I couldn't risk someone else being in this bed with this damn virus or whatever it is." His hand tightened on Spock's sensitive one as if trying to say he hadn't let him come for that exact reason.

"If you had other men with you, as I suggested, you could've succeeded with the mission much faster, decreasing the chance of this disease affecting anybody. You took a needless risk Jim and now you're sick." Spock closed his mouth tightly before he could reveal his feelings on the matter any further. The two healthy men in the room were already giving him strange looks.

"I'm sick because the timer malfunctioned. If I had brought you then you would have argued with me on being the one to set the explosion off manually." Jim gave the area he assumed Spock was in his crooked grin. "Probably saying something about Vulcans being stronger than humans so having you set it off would be the ''logical' decision."Spock paused and looked away from the grin. "It would have been thelogical decision. I would've been able to perform the needed task much quicker and you wouldn't be ill now."

"But you could be. Dammit, Spock. Not everything needs to revolve around logic." Kirk sat up, letting go of Spock's warm hand as he started getting out of the bed despite Bones' yelling at him to lay back down. "I know this ship better than the back of my hand. Until I'm completely unable to get around by myself, I'm not staying in this damn bed." He walked blindly to the exit, managing to not run into anything. Kirkcouldn't be around the Vulcan at that moment. He just couldn't. The logical First Officer just would never understand how the captain couldn't have let him take that risk.

Spock stared after the man, flushing soft green with sheer frustration. Bones lightly cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable but having to say something. "He's upset because he cares about you Spock. He's upset for exactly the same reason you're upset with you." Spock looked at thedoctor coldly before leaving the room, walking back to his room, frustrated with himself on top of everything else. He shouldn't have lost it like he did. He shouldn't feel anything about anyone, much less his captain. He paced the room,needing something. Needing release.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Just Fine

Kirk walked blindly through the corridors of the ship, relying on memory alone to get him to the deck without getting lost. It took him a little while, but he managed it without help from anyone. He even made it to his chair. Jim knew the whole crew was already informed and was probably staring at him. With the best smile he could manage, he went through the schedule of his shift, glad that he had memorized all the controls at the captains chair. The frustration with his First Officer coming back to the forefront of his mind when Uhura asked where Spock was. "Check his room. If he's not there, I don't know where he is."

Spock stared at Uhura as she explained he needed to come back to the bridge. He wondered if having a sexual relation with the woman with help clear his mind but he doubted it. It would only serve as a distraction. "Yes, I'll be there momentarily." Uhura arched her eyebrow at him but nodded curtly and turned, going back to her post. Spock sighed softly and straightened his top before heading out, his face fixed in his usual look of boredom.

Jim sat in his chair, staring unseeingly straight ahead as he listened to all the reports the crew was giving him. Since he couldn't see, everyone was speaking out loud anything and everything that the captain would otherwise have seen. While he hadn't asked for the help, he still appreciated it and wasn't going to turn it down.

Spock sat silently in his chair, glad that the captain could continue on in his duties for a while yet. He knew Dr. McCoy was working on a cure that wouldn't be poisonous to the sick human. But he also knew that Jim would have to bet the odds again to survive this.

Jim worked through his shift with little problem, but as he stood at the end of it, something in him twisted painfully. He would have doubled over if his pain tolerance hadn't been as high as it was. The groan that rose from him, he had been unable to keep silent. Whatever it was that was inside of him was taking advantage of his injuries and damn it wasn't pleasant.

Spock heard the groan and he was by the captains side in an instant. "What's wrong Jim?" He asked softly, knowing he was revealing emotions again and not caring.

"Nothing." Kirk said as heard the bridge go silent. He didn't want any of his crew seeing him weakened. Straightening up despite the burning pain in his side where his broken ribs were, Jim flashed a crooked smile where he assumed the Vulcan was standing. "Just a bit nauseous." Which wasn't a lie. It just wasn't why he had groaned.

"Of course, it happens to us all. In that case I was wondering you could assist me with a problem in the science lab? We need an outside view of the issue." Spock knew the captain was lying for the crew. He was going to take him straight to his room.

Jim nodded, already knowing what the Vulcan was planning. "Sure thing, Mr. Spock." The captain began walking off the bridge, making sure to not bump into anything while also making sure that he didn't receive an assistance.

As soon as the doors close Spock had his hand on the captains arm, gently guiding him. "What's really wrong?"

Kirk waited until they were down an empty corridor before he leaned heavily on the Vulcan, unable to keep upright with the pain in his side. "My side. It hurts more than when my ribs first broke." His hand landed on Spock's and he quickly pulled it away, knowing that they were roughly the same temperature now which was not healthy for a human.

Spock gently picked the man up. "I'm taking you to your room, you have to lay down.. And I'm calling the doctor up." He swallowed hard, intensely worried about the man. "You're going to be ok, Jim."

Kirk frowned. "I can walk, you know? I haven't loss my legs yet. And don't call Bones. He'll hypo me into a coma or something and I don't want to lay useless when I can still do things." There was an underlying desperation in his voice. A desperation to not let this beat him, to not become useless and a burden to the others.

Spock held him closer. "You'll do those 'things' from your quarters." He paused thinking over the Jim's plead not to have the doctor. "And I won't call Dr. McCoy up." Spock knew calling the doctor would be rational. That Jim probably should go into a medically induced coma in hopes of slowing the disease. But he couldn't bear to force it. They got to Jim's room and Spock quickly punched in the code.

"Thank you." When he heard the beeping of the buttons, he tried to get out of Spock's arms. "I can walk. It hasn't progressed so far that I can't." The 'yet' that would have come after that hung unspoken in the air.

"Kirk stop struggling. You're going to hurt yourself." Spock held the man closer to his chest, careful of his Vulcan strength. "Jim please, as a favor to me, stay here. You can still order your crew around using the com but You need rest. Pushing yourself will only make it worse."

A determined look came across Kirk's face and blazed in his unseeing blue eyes. "How can you ask me to do that? I won't, Spock. I can't. I'm not going to sit her and wait to go deaf, unmoving  
and die. We all die eventually. I will not sit here and wait." Jim pushed the Vulcan away with every ounce of strength his unhealthy body could muster. "If  
you want to try and keep an eye on me, fine, but I will be as helpful as possible until I'm completely unable to do so." There was a pause and his voice was a bit softer, quieter, but still determined. "Do I need to make that an order?"

Spock felt his jaw tighten. "No sir." He released the man beneath him and sat back. "Jim... There's a low chance of you surviving this and it gets lower very second you push yourself. Why can't you let someone else take care of things for once? It's illogical but.. I doubt my ability to survive longer than you."

"You know I'm not one to go down without a fight, but if I don't make it, take care of everyone for me." Kirk paused when the last thing that Spock said registered. "What do you mean by that?" He tried to direct his face to look at his First Officer, knowing he was probably off a bit, but trying anyway.

Spock hated seeing him like this, staring off in the wrong direction blankly. "Jim.." He reached out and gently turned the mans face so they'd be looking at each other if Jim could see. "The way I perceive the universe is much brighter with you in it."

Jim chuckled softly, the pain in his ebbing away slowly. "And that's not illogical?" He reached up to take Spock's sensitive hand in his, moving his hand very slowly and hesitantly into the Vulcan equivalent of a human kiss. "Either way, I feel the same." A crooked smiled curved his face.

Spock blushed softly, his cheeks turning a soft green. "It's completely illogical. The universe would not be brighter or darker based on a single mans death.. No matter how important he is to me." He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against Kirks as he flexed his fingers against the other mans.

"Good to know, Pointy." Kirk leaned forward so that their lips brushed against each other a bit more before forcing himself to pull back. He didn't break the Vulcan kiss, however. "I don't know how this thing as spread and I don't want to risk you ending up like this."

Spock chuckled very softly. "How very logical of you." He sighed and pulled back slowly. "Can I convince you to stay here now?"

"No." Kirk gave him his crooked grin and laced their fingers together. "But you can help me." He wasn't sure when he'd loose his hearing or his mobility, but he wanted Spock to be there when he did. "Also, I'm going to hold the fact that you admitted I'm important to you over your head for a long time." However long that may be.

"I'll claim you were delusional with pain if you ever try." Spock gently laid a kiss on Jim's forehead and pulled back. "Do you require assistance standing?"

Kirk shook his head and moved to stand, managing to keep his balance despite the return of the burning pain in his side. "I thought Vulcans didn't lie."

"I'm half human." Spock studied the captain critically. "You should ask Dr. McCoy for pain medicine before returning to the bridge. And we can ask him about his progress with forming the antidote."

"I'm fine. I already told you, he will hypo me into a coma the second he sees me." Kirk looked in Spock's general area, his blue eyes had a bit less color to them. "You know that I hadn't been serious about Chekhov, right? He's crushing on someone else anyway. I was just trying to keep you from finding out why I was so stubborn about going on that mission on my own."

"I understand that, hold still." Spock cupped the mans face and studied his eyes. His stomach twisted, seeing the change. "I will escort you to the bridge then visit to see if the doctor has the antidote yet, let us go."

"I don't need to go to the bridge, Spock. I need to eat. We're both off duty for a while." Kirk wanted to lean into the touch, but pulled away from it as he remembered Vulcan touch telepathy. He didn't need Spock to know all the fear that he was trying to hide and how he doubted that his dumb luck would get him through this.

Spock wanted to check on the progress of antidote but couldn't bear to leave Kirk alone while he was like this. "Alright.. As you say captain."

"It's fine. I can make it to the cafeteria on my own." A soft smile curved his lips. "As I said, I know this ship better than the back of my own hand."

Spock didn't like the idea of that but backed off, knowing what he wanted to do and the logical thing to do were very different things. "Then I hope you enjoy the meal. Perhaps I'll join you after visiting Dr. McCoy."

Jim nodded and headed to exit his room, relieved that he did so without a problem. "I would like that." He opened the automatic door and stepped out, already missing being close to the other man.

Spock watched him leave and stood quietly in the room that echoed its occupants personality so loudly. Spock felt fear, an ugly emotion that left a sour taste in the back of his throat. He wasn't sure what he would do if Captain Kirk, Jim, didn't make it. He turned on his heel and strode quickly to the infirmary. He refused to find out.

Jim made it to the cafeteria with very little help, but when he got there he did need help getting his food since he couldn't see what he was doing. When he was seated, he ate slowly so none of it missed his mouth. After the first three bites, he wasn't hungry anymore even though he should really eat more.

Spock stepped into the infirmary and looked around until he spotted the doctor studying something in a microscope. "Doctor. How is the antidote coming? The captain is growing sicker." Bones shook his head, clearly annoyed. "It's not coming, the alien blood doesn't react properly with human. It's like it's a disease to human blood all by itself." Spock stepped closer. "You have to figure it out."

Kirk felt his stomach churn and stood. His throat constricted as he stumbled to the nearest restroom to empty the contents of his stomach. After there was nothing left and he had dry heaved for a few moments, he finally relaxed a bit. It was then that he noticed the metallic taste along with the nasty after taste of his vomit. Was that blood he tasted? Jim felt another wave of nauseousness wash over him.

"Dammit I'm a doctor, not a magician! What do you want me to do ya green blooded hobgoblin? Jim shouldn't have been able to get the disease in the first place!" Spock stepped closer again and looked down his nose at the doctor, intimidating him with his height. "I have confidence that you will soon isolate the cause, Doctor. At the moment this IS your top priority." Spock turned and left the room, anger making his face flushed green.

Kirk let his eyes slide close, they were useless at this point anyway, and tried to ignore the fact that he was sure it was blood he tasted. He laughed softly. "This isn't going to be fun."

Spock entered the cafeteria and looked around. He didn't see the captain. A frown briefly crossed his face as he began walking across the room, growing more worried with each step.

Slowly, Kirk stood and stumbled a bit as he exited the bathroom. His head had started pounding again. Even though he really should eat, he wasn't hungry anymore and wasn't sure he could keep anything down if he was.

Spock saw him leave the restroom immediately and crossed the room to stand by his side. "Captain. Allow me to escort you to a seat?"

Jim shook his head, his eyes still closed. "I'm fine." He kept saying that and now he wasn't sure he was saying it to Spock or himself. While it was true he wasn't ready to die, who ever really was? The idea of dying after just learning that there was a chance his First Officer returned his feelings… It really sucked. Almost as much as the way he was most likely going to die.

Spock gently placed his hand over Jim's, feeling what Jim felt and allowing him to feel the worry Spock had since Jim's diagnosis. "Please, Captain… Jim."

Jim could feel the worry seep into his pores, almost as if it was his own. A renewed surge of determination and the memory of the metallic taste in his mouth over took him before he pulled his hand away. No. This would not defeat him. "I'm fine." He repeated quietly and worked a bit harder than he should've had to so that his crooked smile slipped onto his face.

Spock had to work to keep the hurt expression off his face. "Yes, sir. I'm sure you'll do just 'fine'." He looked down. "It was illogical of me to think that for once you'd accept someone's help." He turned and walked away, building his walls back up, hiding behind logic and reason from his emotions.

Kirk heard Spock walk away and felt a sliver of panic pierce his chest as he realized that he couldn't hear as well as he could moments before. "Spock… I'm sorry…" He could have shouted the words for all he knew because at that exact moment, the world around him went silent.

Spock paused, surprised by Kirk's volume. "Captain, there's no need to shout like that." He turned and frowned at the other man then paused. "Captain?" He walked back over, worry showing itself over his features. He placed a hand on Kirk's. /"Jim?"/

Jim jumped slightly at the unexpected touch, but relaxed a bit when he heard Spock's voice in his head. He clung to it desperately to get away from the silence that was surrounding him. /"I can't hear."/ The captain's mental response shook slightly with his fear. It was a lot harder to hide it when the half-Vulcan was in his damn head, but he'd rather have that than the nothingness from before.

Spock frowned deeply and gripped the other man's hand, trying to comfort him. /"Don't be frightened. I am here for you, Jim. I will guide you."/

With a slight nod, Jim didn't bother denying that he was scared. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself. The darkness hadn't been too bad on it's own, but the silence made Jim feel so alone. His grip on his First Officer's hand tightened slightly. No. Spock was there. He wasn't alone. /"Maybe we should go to Bones now."/ Kirk thought with as much humor as he could muster under the circumstances. /"Hopefully he won't hypo me on sight."/

/"I believe the term is, 'good luck with that'."/ Spock smiled softly. /"But yes, I will guide you there."/ He gently took the man's upper arm and started leading the blind captain towards the medical bay.

Kirk followed in a similar fashion to a dog following it's owner. He was comforted by the warmth of Spock's touch through his regulation uniform. After a few moments, he figured the were in the medical bay because he was being pushed onto one of the medical beds. It occurred to Jim that he had definitely spent too much time here if he could recognize the bed by touch alone.

Spock chuckled softly through the mind meld, /"I have tried to tell you that many times."/ He pictured the scene for Kirk, letting him know exactly what the doctor had to say to and about the deaf man.

Something warm spread through the captain at the echoing sound of Spock's soft chuckle through his mind. It took him by such surprise and made him feel so stupidly happy that he missed the entire scene his First Officer was trying to show him.

Spock suddenly felt the happiness surging from the man holding his hand tightly. /"Pay attention, Jim. Dr. McCoy is speaking and while he is illogical with anger and worry for you, he is still the expert here. You have to know what's going on, I do not want you to be without that knowledge."/

Jim focused on the scene fed to him through the link from Spock. Bones didn't look too happy. "Hey, hobgoblin, are you listening?" He huffed as he looked at Jim and his almost white irises, a frown creasing his brow. "Damn idiot…" The doctor then looked to the commander. "I almost have a cure ready, but it's going to take me a bit longer seeing as the disease seems to mutate with time. I'll need to put him a medically induced coma to slow it down long enough to finish."

Spock tried to push comfort towards the sick man, knowing he had been dreading that. "I was paying attention, Doctor, our captain was simply hoping you would not put him in a coma."

"Yeah, well, the idiot shouldn't have gone on the mission on his own. If he wants to get his sight and hearing back, I need to do this." Bones gestured to Jim's eyes. "He's already close to loosing his sight permanently whether I cure him or not." Turning, the doctor picked up the hypo next to the bed. /"It's okay, Spock. I'll be fine."/

Spock knew Jim could probably feel the worry he had pushed into the very back of his mind and gently squeezed his hand. /"You always seem to survive somehow. I shall 'have faith' and wait for you to awake."/ He gently ran a hand over Jim's cheek, surprising the doctor nearly as much as himself. /"I must let go now so the doctor can do what he must. We shall see each other soon."/ Spock stepped back, releasing Jim's hand slowly.

The moment their hands separated, the darkness and silence creeped in. Jim clung to the last words that Spock last said and closed his unseeing eyes, allowing himself to relax as much as he could before Bones hypoed him in the neck. Jim felt his consciousness begin to slip away and let it go as he laid on the bed. His last thought was that he would get through this. He's done it before, he can do it again. At least, he hoped so.

Spock swallowed hard, knowing he'd only see blackness if he tried to mind meld with him now. Without the bright and active mind in his head, Spock's thoughts seemed cold and dry. He was acting captain now, but as he logically left the room, unneeded by the doctor, his thoughts stayed with the man who'd stolen his Vulcan heart.


End file.
